


Mr. Pitch Comes to Pemberley

by acciopasta



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Bad Matchmaking, Ballroom Dancing, F/M, First Meetings, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Regency Era, Reminiscing, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:15:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24743695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acciopasta/pseuds/acciopasta
Summary: Simon & Baz meet during a ball held at Pemberley.
Relationships: Elizabeth Bennet/Fitzwilliam Darcy, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 11
Kudos: 24





	1. A First Dance

The anticipation surrounding the impending Pemberley ball was palpable among those invited – which seemed to include every well-connected family in England. In the week leading up to the event, there was scarcely a word that passed the lips of anybody Simon came across on any other subject at all.

Therefore, it is safe to say, Simon, a member of the regiment that has been stationed in Lambton for the past few months, was thrilled when the unit received an open invitation to the ball.

And so, upon his arrival, after exchanging pleasantries with the other soldiers he knew, Simon found himself engaged in comfortable conversation with a dear friend, Miss Penelope Bunce, and her family on the topic of their congenial hosts, who were making the rounds, arm-in-arm.

“I’m afraid I’m only acquainted with Mr. Darcy in matters of business, though I must say that in every respect, he has been nothing but generous toward me,” said Simon.

“And his dear wife, sweet Elizabeth,” said Mrs. Bunce said sweetly, but quietly. “I had known her cousin — one Mr. William Collins — when we were small, and, I confess, he was nothing short of absolutely vexing in every possible manner. I truly cannot contain my joy that she seems to have nothing in common with the man whatsoever.”

After dancing with Penelope, Simon approached Miss Agatha Wellbelove, whom he was on respectable terms with. He thought her upright and gentle, as well as good-humored. She was sitting down with Mrs. Darcy’s younger sister, Kitty Bennet, due to the scarcity of men, and it seemed as though they were politely, though not passionately, chatting. It is remarkable that Miss Wellbelove could be sitting down during a dance, regardless of the number of men present, for her beauty and countenance were unparalleled among her peers. Even if there was one man among dozens of ladies, she would be the partner of choice for each dance. Surely, she sat dances out solely to give the other women a chance.

As Simon danced with Agatha, they spoke amiably about the ball, the other guests, and other similarly insubstantial matters. They enjoyed each other’s company, but there was no sparking connection between the two, in terms of romance or deep friendship.

“Mr. Snow,” said his partner said to him, “have you heard who’s meant to make an appearance this evening?”

Simon replied that he had not.

“Why, a young man near our age — not yet one-and-twenty — from the north of England. Apparently, he is the son of Mr. Darcy’s close family friends. From Kitty Bennet, I hear that he is supposed to be very handsome.”

“As all men are supposed to be, I’m sure.”

“Well, they can’t all be as fine-looking as yourself, Mr. Snow, but us ladies would be highly appreciative if they came close,” Miss Wellbelove teased.

Upon the conclusion of their dance, another young man approached and requested Agatha’s hand for the next, leaving Simon to wander back, stopping every now and again to make talk with friends or eat hors d’oeuvres that he somehow was able to eat with an unmatched speed.

And when the aforementioned gentleman entered the drawing room, countless heads turn to catch a glimpse. The gentleman’s name was Mr. Pitch; he stood tall and did indeed have handsome features, as Miss Wellbelove reported. His dark hair was slicked back on his head, revealing a deep widow’s peak, and he wears a serious expression as he scans the room. His presence was highly anticipated, and nearly every young woman and her mother wanted an introduction — however, he was in no hurry to make their acquaintance.

He joined Mr. and Mrs. Darcy who were talking with Mr. and Mrs. Bingley. After being properly introduced, he danced once with Mrs. Darcy, who seemed to make easy conversation with the young man — they both seemed to leave the floor in good spirits — and once with Mrs. Bingley, whose gentle nature is impossible to have disdain for. He, then, acquiesced to requests for introductions, though made no move to invite any of the eager women to dance. Apparently, he was polite enough in conversation but showed no interest in pursuing any sort of friendship and always excused himself as quickly as possible.

“Mrs. Bennet and her friends have been telling all who will listen about Mr. Pitch’s surmised seemingly _very_ wealthy background,” murmured Miss Bunce to Simon as they stood together to the side of the room.

“I suppose the wealth makes up for his lack of warmth,” said Simon in reply, and Penelope laughed.

“I suppose so,” she agreed, gesturing to the other side of the room, where Mr. Pitch stood alone, seemingly engrossed by his thoughts.

Simon and Penelope silenced themselves when they overheard a discussion going on behind them. Simon turned around and glanced quickly at the speakers, seeing Mr. and Mrs. Darcy standing close.

“Come, Mr. Darcy,” said his wife fondly, “You must speak with him. I hate seeing him wandering about the room alone. I ask that you convince him to converse or dance — there are so many pleasant and bright young women I’m sure would be thrilled to dance with him.”

“Yes, the company this evening is particularly charming. I daresay I have never been in a room with so many… _accomplished_ women in all my days.” There was a smile in his voice at that moment, and Simon suddenly felt as if he were intruding on what ought to be a private moment. “But Basilton is his own man — my giving him orders would only make matters worse. He just needs a bit of time to grow comfortable.”

“If I recall, it was you standing uncomfortably alone at a ball on the night we met.”

“I beg of you to care not to mention that night and my ungentlemanlike behavior ever again,” said Mr. Darcy in a teasing voice. “How ashamed I still am, all these years later, at my appalling behavior toward you and your family.”

“As we’ve covered countless times, we both behaved poorly during those first few months.”

They carried on their conversation, laughing and reminiscing about the past, and Simon and Penelope decided to leave them to their memories. Miss Bunce rejoined her family, and Simon, feeling guilty about his jokes directed at Mr. Pitch, decided to approach the man and make his acquaintance. He sought out Agatha, who had already met him, and requested that she make the introductions.

“It’s a pleasure,” said Mr. Pitch coldly, as if it took great effort deigning to acknowledge their presence. Miss Wellbelove curtsied and excused herself, her initial interest in the handsome gentleman evaporating before their very eyes.

“How long will you be visiting at Pemberley?” Simon asked attempting to make polite small talk.

“Indefinitely. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I find the air to be rather thick in here.”

With that, Mr. Pitch left the room; and though Simon remained with no very cordial feelings toward him, he reluctantly followed him outside.

He came upon the man staring at his feet in the cold air, his hands fisted in the pockets of his trousers. He looked up suddenly when Simon approached, and neither made a move.

“Your discomfort is understandable,” began Simon. “This is quite the event at which to make a first appearance. It could come off as particularly jarring, having so many new acquaintances.”

“I think you’ll find that I’m perfectly capable of making a decent impression when need be.”

“Of course, I’ve heard of nothing but your politeness and civility all evening, though it seems as if that had been forgotten by the time we were introduced by Miss Wellbelove.”

“I have no particular interest in collecting acquaintances at the present moment — it is with a specific task that my family has sent me here, I’m afraid.”

“And what sort of task might that be?” asked Simon, curious and grateful for the

I may be a complete fool for this, but let it be said — and your discretion in this matter would be most appreciated, sir — that I became involved in a sort of… scandal, which resulted in my sudden move to Pemberley.”

“A scandal, you say?”

“Yes,” Mr. Pitch paused, as if considering the trustworthiness of Simon. When he spoke again, it was clear that his words were chosen with care. “I was discovered discretely courting somebody who was considered to not be a suitable match for my family. Our relationship eluded our families for some time, but when we were exposed, I was given no choice but to hastily escape. Mr. Darcy was kind enough to welcome me, regardless of my past.”

“I see; but a myriad of beautiful and brilliant young women have been dancing here tonight, but you have shown no interest in a single one.”

His countenance turned gloomy. “I do not wish to attack you, Mr. Snow, but I don’t think that you do see. If you did, you would understand why I have chosen to politely make the acquaintance of these women, but truly have no desire to find an appropriate spouse among them. After the recent events in my life, I would prefer to save my search for a partner — one capable of producing heirs — for another ball on another night. Now, I think it best if you return inside. I’m sure your friends will be missing you.”

Comprehension dawned on Simon, and once again, he regretted many of his words this evening. After all, he — of all people — understood very well exactly what Mr. Pitch was implying.

Rather than leaving, and at the risk of great mortification, Simon reached out and took Mr. Pitch by the wrist. In response, the gentleman was startled and rendered speechless.

“Excuse my impertinence,” began Simon, “but I believe your situation has become clear to me.” Mr. Pitch did not respond, but stared silently at his wrist, still held by Simon, who decided it was best to continue. “Those of us who share these feelings, such as yours, must be discrete about it, but I must admit, I do not think that you need marry in haste. Rather, I think it would be beneficial for you if you wait — the people around Lambton are accepting and kind, as are your hosts, Mr. and Mrs. Darcy.

Mr. Pitch raised his eyes to meet Simon’s, and, finally, Simon saw the agreeable nature he had been hearing about.

“My good sir,” said Mr. Pitch, and for a moment Simon worried that he miscalculated after all, though he did not see how that could be. “Thank you for your words. They’ve eased my troubled soul a great deal, and I think I may just heed your advice.”

Simon glanced around, before pulling Mr. Pitch around toward the back of the estate, where they will not be seen by nosy and wandering eyes. Only when they are surely alone, does Simon drop his wrist and bow slightly.

“Now, will you do me the honor of having this dance?”


	2. A Most Unpleasant Visitor

Days after the ball, Simon took it upon himself to walk to Pemberley to express his gratitude to the hosts; though his true aim was to call on one who has become an object of affection in his eyes. When he thought of that evening, his mind could only remember the good features of Mr. Pitch’s face and the feeling of his hands in his own while they danced in the gardens behind the large estate. In the days that followed, these thoughts consumed him entirely and made his heart skip a beat until he could no longer put off the visit.

When he, at last, found himself in view of the house, his hair was untidier than he would have liked, and he could feel his face had turned pink from the long walk. He cared not, however, and he soon was welcomed into the parlor, where Mr. and Mrs. Darcy were seated, along with a tall, large old woman with a sour look upon her face. He was greeted warmly by the former and hastily introduced to the latter. Lady Catherine de Bourgh was a name that Simon had heard occasionally throughout Lambton. Despite her age, she was often described as formidable and intimidating; condescending and authoritative — some went so far as to say she held on to life purely out of spite.

To the brief interrogation which began as soon as he was seated, Simon responded to Lady Catherine’s relatively personal questions as quickly and directly as possible, for he knew not what horrors may face him if he dared hesitate or answer incorrectly. Yes, he was unmarried; yes, he agreed that a man ought to remain unmarried for the early years of his adulthood; no, as a younger son, he was not entailed any land; yes, he very recently became an officer of the militia; no, he had not yet had the privilege to meet Miss Georgiana Darcy. It was only when Mrs. Darcy intervened that Simon felt he could breathe easily again.

“Surely, your ladyship should like some tea now?” said she, upon noticing Mrs. Reynolds’s coming into the room.

“Upon my word, yes.” She then began forcefully ordering Mrs. Reynolds on the proper teamaking techniques, and Simon directed a look of appreciation at Mrs. Darcy, who smiled kindly in response.

While her ladyship was still spelling out all the steps that were required to make her tea enjoyable, Mr. Pitch wandered in, carrying a small child on his shoulders. The young girl — likely no older than 5 — was laughing raucously, and her steed was smiling wide, until he recognized the company he was in. Swiftly, he took the girl under the arms and placed her standing beside him. Beatrice Darcy was the only daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Darcy, and, though still very young, it was clear to all who made her acquaintance that she had inherited the kidness and wit of her parents, and especially the vivaciousness of her mother.

“Baz! Come on,” the young Darcy begged, but he simply kneeled in front of her and pledged that they could continue their games later. At the urging of her parents, and with an incredulous look from Lady Catherine, she joined Mrs. Reynolds in the kitchen. The Darcys were aware from her ladyship’s pursed lips that she was biting her tongue — something that was not an easy task for her — as she had more than learned her lesson about scolding Mrs. Darcy.

“I apologize for the intrusion,” said Mr. Pitch, glancing inquiringly at Simon. “I was not made aware of this, and forgive my judgement, curious gathering of characters.”

“There is no problem, Basilton, I assure you,” Mr. Darcy said. “We—

“Yes, yes, Pitch,” interrupted Lady Catherine, “Before Mr. Snow’s recent arrival — I take it you have been introduced before? — the three of us were discussing the plans for your future here at Pemberley.”

“My future, of course,” he said slowly.

“Perhaps it would be best if I left you now,” said Simon, rising to go.

“Nonsense. Sit down, young man. Now, Mr. Snow here agrees with me, as he should, that men of your age ought to remain unmarried for a time to experience life and what have you. But considering your situation — your family having sent you here to acquire a wife — I am determined to find you a match would make for a prudent marriage to a gentleman of your background.”

“I am all gratitude.”

Simon was distinctly uncomfortable at having been dropped into the middle of what seemed to be a very personal conversation, though he could not help himself for listening intently. Regardless of what Mr. Pitch had told him at the ball, it was shocking that Lady Catherine was on a mission to find him a wife so quickly, and he desperately wished that he could steal a moment alone with the man at the center of the conversation.

“I have a number of connections with suitable daughters, all very accomplished and impressive. They play and sing, studied drawing with the masters in London, or Paris even, and dance finely. My own accomplished daughter died not two years ago, but she would have been a lovely match for _any_ gentleman.”

“I think we all are confident that you will be able to make an appropriate match,” said Mr. Darcy gently.

“Pray, when am I to have found this girl?”

“Well, we have no objection to Basilton staying here as our guest for as long as need be, so please, do not hurry at the job,” said Mrs. Darcy.

Her ladyship stated that, unless it was of the upmost urgency, she never hurriedly did anything. “Hurrying is not a habit that ladies should develop, if they can help it.”

Before she took her leaving, Lady Catherine mentioned that the son of Mr. Darcy’s cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, who is just turning nine in the next month, would be an excellent match for Miss Beatrice.”

“Please, your ladyship,” replied Mrs. Darcy, “Spare our daughter from thoughts of matchmaking and betrothals for a few more years, at least.”

Spirits lifted immeasurably upon her departure, and the foursome engaged in a friendly conversation, which resulted in Mr. Darcy told a story of how the first time he heard his wife play the pianoforte, which he insisted she did beautifully — she insisted she did with many errors — was at Lady Catherine’s home at Rosings Park. This led to Mrs. Darcy humorously recounting with great spirit a time before her marriage in which Lady Catherine confronted her on her intentions with Mr. Darcy.

Laughing heartily, Mr. Pitch said, “In moments such as these, I’m reminded of how alike Miss Beatrice is in her lively demeanor to you, Mrs. Darcy.” She looked absolutely delighted at the statement.

Mr. Darcy made himself scarce soon after, for he was to meet with his friend Mr. Bingley, and a short while after that, Mrs. Darcy excused herself, leaving Simon sitting alone with Mr. Pitch, who proposed that they walk out together toward the gardens.

And on they walked, neither particularly eager to mention the conversation on Mr. Pitch’s impending union with an undecided young lady he had yet to meet. Instead, Simon searched his mind for something to discuss, and he decided upon the subject of Miss Beatrice.

“Surely, she is a spirited girl! And she makes a positively delightful companion here at Pemberley. I daresay I can think not of a single soul who has made me laugh so much as her. I have no siblings myself, but she reminds me greatly of my many little cousins.”

“She seems noticeably fond of you as well.”

“I think that is largely related to the fact that I am entirely wrapped around her finger.” Simon noticed how he smiled politely as he passed one of the gardeners cutting back the hedges. “She takes pleasure in knowing I would play hide-and-seek or charades with her forever, if I could.”

Knowing that he delights in spending time playing games with children only made Simon’s esteem for the gentleman grow, and though he had not spoken a word of it, Mr. Pitch was pleasantly surprised at the ease with which he found himself sharing with Simon. Indeed, he found himself admiring the amiability of his walking partner’s manners and the generous optimism he projected.

Mr. Pitch then asked Simon about his own family, inquiring if he had any small brothers or sisters, or indeed, dozens of cousins.

“By blood, I am an only child — my mother died in childbirth. When I was not yet seven, my excellent father, a man of the clergy, passed, leaving me an orphan. Out of nothing but pure goodness, his dear friend and his wife took me in and raised me as their own, granting me two adoptive older brothers, whom I love with all my heart.”

“Well, despite the early tragedies, you are a lucky man to still have a family you are close with.”

“And what of your family? I know that, with the circumstances surrounding your arrival at Pemberley, emotions must be running high among you all, but are they not decent people?”

“They’re decent enough, but all politeness and little substance, I admit. I assure you, had I a younger brother, they would have little to no qualms about disinheriting me, leaving the estate in its entirety to him. I suppose I should be thankful to be an only child.”

“Truly, if that is the case, then they are not decent at all! Family is meant to love and support one another despite any oddities or differences.” Simon lowered his voice now as he spoke. “The case of one’s attraction is not an affliction that need be cured, nor a blemish that calls upon being covered up. I wish with everything in me that you need not marry for anything other than love.”

“I share that desire, you must believe me, but I know not how it can come to be. I can only hope that my future spouse, whoever she may be, and I will one day consider each other close friends.” Longing now to change the subject, Mr. Pitch quickly asked about the militia’s plans in Lambton.

“Well, we will be stationed near here for the next several months, and I’m very glad for it. I’ve already made the acquaintance of a great many wonderful men and women, yourself included, I must admit.”

“Tell me of your friends from the ball, Miss Bunce and Miss Wellbelove.”

“I tell you; Miss Penelope Bunce has become a dear friend of mine. As far as I’m concerned, her brilliance is unmatched — and I say that taken men and women into consideration. She is witty and fiercely caring. Miss Agatha Wellbelove, one of the most beautiful creatures I’ve set my eyes upon, personifies all that is good. Pure of heart and the gentlest soul. I cannot imagine two better ladies to have the acquaintance of, though I cannot help but hear wonderful things said about Miss Georgiana Darcy.”

“Yes, I have heard nothing but her praises sung, as well, though I have had not an opportunity to meet her yet. She is to join us at Pemberley in a month or two, I believe.”

And they continued to speak easily with each other for the whole of their walk through the very pretty grounds at Pemberley.


End file.
